The Walrus Said

The time has come, the walrus said.
I am 33 weeks pregnant. What a journey it has been and yet there is still so much of it left. I spent a great deal of the early weeks/months complaining about this new little life and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Now I realize just how special this little person is to me and to EVERYONE around me. Since I've gotten more noticeably pregnant (i.e. HUGE), coworkers, guests and even strangers have something to say. Being this far along I'm seeing how much I've grown (both physically and emotionally). There have been ups and downs that go along with pregnancy and hormones but I'd like to think that I've kept my cool more often than not and that I still have that level head and ability to look at my own life and see how I've changed.
With 7 weeks left until my due date, a completely different set of worries have popped up. For a while I saw all the fun things about being a mommy and I knew about the not so fun things; crying, poop, spit up, latching problems with breastfeeding. But none of them seemed to really set in. I've always wanted to be a mommy so I know I'll be fine and with my better half here to help, what can go wrong?
This past week I started really being concerned about labor. Lots of people have told me their stories for each of their children even though I didn't ask, but I don't think I ever thought of the real technical parts of labor. Now I'm concerned about knowing that I'm in labor, knowing that its the real thing, knowing when to call the doctor and go to the hospital. I've also been researching pain control options. The most obvious of these is an epidural, which is what I have decided upon. The scary, unknown part of this; a catheter?! Who knew? I sure didn't! And it has me slightly worried. I just keep reminding myself of all the other women who have done it before me. If they can make it, so can I. It's just not something I've ever experienced before and didn't think I would. Why did no one tell me that's part of an epidural?
Another thing bothering me? What if we don't have this sweet little baby? What if he turns out to be a fussing machine? Are we prepared to handle that? I can deal with little to no sleep if I have a cute, quiet baby to look at, but one that cries all the time? And I know that if ever I come to a point where I can't handle it, I have a huge support system ready to step in and help out. I just want to be the super mom that doesn't need the help.
So as we draw closer and closer to meeting this little boy, the time has come. To pack the hospital bag, to preregister at the hospital, to make sure his clothes are washed and his bottles clean, to make sure we have enough diapers to make it through the first week (how many is enough?), and to mentally prepare myself for labor and delivery and an epidural and a catheter and the possibility of a colicky baby.
Until then, I'll enjoy having little Wes with me all the time :)
Brittany